Jake Talks About Lists Again

Obsessive Compulsive Meets Organisation

Anyone who knows me well, knows I have a deep and unhealthy passion for lists. List are life. Lists are love. People also know I am painfully organised. My house is tidy, my days are ordered. And as a result, I am very productive.

This blog post is going to be an insight into how I organise my life and, there are no surprises, its mostly lists. Lists make me happy. They make me content. And I find crossing things off lists to be very enjoyable indeed.

This post is not a suggestion for how you should organise your life. Rather, its just an entertaining insight into me and my system. In fact, I suspect my system wouldn’t suit anyone else, and if it was forced onto someone, they would probably go crazy.

Still, maybe something here will inspire you, or solve a problem you have been grappling with. At the very least, it will give you an entertaining peep into my brain.

Journal

My journal is for my thoughts, my memories and my feelings. It is an exercise in mental health. I put down the good and the bad here, both so I can let it go, and so I can process and analyse what is happening in my life. It helps me make plans, analyse my problems and explore my feelings. I have had dozens of epiphanies writing in my journal. I would say putting myself on paper has changed the course of my life for the better.

I go through a lot of these. On average, one hardback, lined journal every two months. That's about six a year. I do a lot of thinking. And a lot of talking to myself! Some days, I can write 10-15 pages, though the average is closer to 3 pages. That's not to say I journal every single day, but I do make the time a few days a week.

If you are stressed, feeling lost, feeling frustrated, unhappy with your life, or just trying to step your life up to the next level, I strongly recommend journaling. Getting all your thoughts down on paper makes a huge difference. I don't see any point in imposing any rules on yourself. I will say, my favourite time to write is early on rainy mornings, either out on my back deck or in bed—depending on how windy it is.

Either way, even when I am stressed, journaling is a relief, if not a joy. It’s a way of letting go and taking time to get to know myself. It’s the one time I can be 100% honest, knowing I can't be judged. And that is a rare pleasure indeed.

Day Planner

This is for my practical, every day 'to do' list. It keeps my house running, and makes sure I get to appointments and pay bills on time. It is a tool and the workhorse of my productivity. There is nothing poetic or creative about it.

Everything else on this list makes me feel good, or makes me more productive, or cares for my mental health. However, my day planner is vital. Without it, my life would be in complete shambles. Because when I am very ill, I can't remember anything, and because my day planner tracks my medication and if my pets have been fed, my day planner may actually actively keep me and my pets alive.

I actually don't know how people function without a day planner. I can't even imagine it.

What is really important to me, is that my day planner has a full page for every day. Its very frustrating for me when Saturday and Sunday are sharing a page, since my weekends aren't less busy than my week days. When choosing a day planner, think about how your week is structured and spend the time hunting for a planner than suits you. You might even find a digital planner suits you better, but I will stick to my physical book and pens.

Bujo

My bujo is part goals, part inspiration, part monthly plan. I don’t bujo exactly the same as other people—though anyone who insists on bujo 'rules' is just a killjoy. My Bujo is a gorgeous Paperblank hardcover notebook with blank pages. I keep it yearly, so each bujo covers a whole year of my life. It is used to track my yearly goals and projects, which are then further broken down into monthly sections. I include a lot of lists and checklists. Including, but not limited to, places to visit, saving and finance, books I have read, books I want to write, blog post planning, weight and fitness tracking, birthdays of friends and family, wish lists, planting and harvesting guides for my garden, career goals and milestones, & personal goals and milestones.

My bujo is also decorated with stickers, washi tape and hand drawn art. Its not just about tracking, its about inspiring, so its important to me that it looks good. Working on it is a great joy for me, an artistic process and something I do when I want to relax and do something creative.

Bujo is a fantastic hobby for people who love lists and art. Just keep in mind it should be enjoyable. Too many people I see put pressure on themselves to make it 'perfect', or they put such high expectations on themselves that they fall behind in bujo maintenance then are too despondent to catch up again.

I started working on my 2019 bujo in August, planning out the pages I wanted and then the order I wanted them in. I pencilled in the title and page numbers very lightly and over October/November/December I will do the penning and taping for many of the pages—since I am going to be very busy with a baby early in the year, I am hoping to get at least six months prepared in advance.

Often, I will set up pages at the start of the year, then only decorate them as the year progresses. Even if I have finished with them. That's okay too. Bujos are about function and enjoyment. Its not an art competition.

Prayer Book

Every day, instead of praying out loud, I write in my prayer book. These prayers are usually in the form of giving thanks, asking for guidance and asking for God to act on behalf of the people around me who may be struggling.

If you aren't religious, the equivalent would be a gratitude journal, with letters to loved ones.

Personally, my prayer book has a hugely positive impact on my mental health. It teaches me to stop trying to control everything in my life and not obsess quite so much. Its also nice to look back through the pages and see how many of my prayers were answered, and how many things I was worried about that turned out okay.

Obviously, for me, as a Christian, it is a deeply personal connection with my faith. Its not really something I would recommend for others, unless the idea brings you joy and excitement. Its not going to make you more organised, either way!

Business and Writing Plan

This is my only digital file. I keep it in scrivener and it is broken into several parts.

Website

Social Media & Promotion

Novel Length Projects

Shorts and Novella Length Projects

Vision Writers

Non-Career Items

These are straight up lists of things I need to do, broken down into manageable/practical steps that can be added, one at a time, to my day planner.

In the Writing Plan, a novel might look something like this:

TITLE – First Draft

TITLE – Second Draft

TITLE – Feedback and Beta Readers

TITLE – Third Draft

TITLE – Synopsis and Query

TITLE – Submit to Agents

In my day planner, I might put 'Title – First Draft' down a my primary goal for several months, while I write it. But once it is done, it gets crossed off in the Writing Plan and the next day, the primary item in my day planner is 'Title – Second Draft'. And plodding along in that manner keeps me productive and on track.

In each section, Website, Vision, Novels, etc, everything is listed in the order I want to complete them. So, I always know that, in each section, I work from top to bottom to achieve my goals. There is, however, a LOT of things in this file. Probably enough work for at least the next five years, if not the next ten. And that's okay. Its fantastic to have a clear idea of where I am going.

None of it is set in stone, I can review and change it whenever I like. Things get moved around a lot—just not in mid project. Once I start, I commit to finishing.

Conclusion

There you go! Insight into the way I track and organise my life. Inspiring? Terrifying? You tell me. The important thing is, I have a system that works with my life. Whatever you do, you need the same.

And stay tuned, the newsletter, synopsis series and new website is coming! I promise.

Happiness Series: 1 - Introduction

Welcome to my happiness series! Seventeen blog posts on how to be happier, which will also chronicle my own journey toward not feeling so much like a human trash fire.

The series will consist of 17 posts, which will be broken down in the following format:

1 - Introduction and crisis advice (this post)
2-5 - Psychology, behavior and what makes us unhappy
6-10 - How to be happier
11-16 - Exercises to help us learn who we are and what we need
17 - Wrap up and summary


What To Do If You Are In Crisis

This blog series is not designed to treat or cure depression. It might help, but it also might have no impact at all, because depression is an illness like diabetes: a physiological imbalance of chemicals in the body. Also, if I had a genuine cure for depression, I would be a lot richer.

If at any point, now, or in the next 17 weeks, you are in crisis, these are the steps you should take. Firstly, if you are suicidal, tell someone who can help you. By that, I mean someone who has your address and phone number.

If you are in Australia, you can also call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or chat to someone on their website: https://www.lifeline.org.au/

Most of you will have seen the R U OK list (http://eponis.tumblr.com/post/113798088670/everything-is-awful-and-im-not-okay-questions-to) written by Sinope. Its great and I recommend everyone have a look at it.

As great as it is, it didn’t work for me personally, so I wrote my own for me to refer to when I am feeling stressed and overwhelmed. To me, it feels a bit more grounded and practical, so I am including it here in case any of you feel the same:

Steps To Take When You Are Overwhelmed:

1. Have a glass of water.
2. Have you eaten a meal in the past 4 hours? Eat.
3. Do you need medication? Take it.
4. Have you showered and cleaned your teeth today? Do it.
5. Are you wearing clean, comfortable clothes? Get changed.
6. Are your pets/children fed/watered/clean? Attend to them.
7. Are there any bad smells or loud noises near you? Remove them.
8. Are you a comfortable temperature? Address accordingly.
9. Can heat/cold packs help? Get up and fetch them.
10. Make a list of all the major things bothering you. (EG: Bills, pain, personal conflicts)
11. Add sub categories. (EG: List the bills that need paying.)
12. Under each sub category, list the steps that need to be taken to resolve that issue and any obstacles.
13. Compliment or thank someone, online or in person.
14. Exercise or stretch.
15. Put on music or white noise and sit or lie still for ten whole minutes.
16. Do one small productive thing. (EG: Put a load of dishes in.)


Definition of Happiness

However, as I have said, this series is not about treating depression, its about being happier. And in order to do that, we need to define what happiness is.

To borrow from Paul Dolan’s ‘Happiness By Design’, a good definition is: Happiness is a mixture of pleasure and purpose over time.

He says there are actions that bring us pleasure, actions that give us purpose, and actions that do both. However if we only focus on one or the other, we will not, overall, be very happy people.

Take for example, playing video games. This is generally an activity with a lot of pleasure, but very little purpose. Or perhaps, writing an assignment for our university class, not a lot of pleasure, but a lot of purpose. There may be other activities, such as playing with our children, or walking our dog, which come with a dual dose of both pleasure and purpose.

I am not suggesting we should limit ourselves to activities that give us pleasure and purpose. It would probably be impossible to live that way. I am just saying there has to be a balance of pleasure and purpose on our lives for us to experience happiness.

So moving forward in this series, that is the definition of happiness I will be using. Happiness = Pleasure + Purpose, over time. And we will assume that we need things in our life that both give us purpose and give us pleasure, in order to be happy.


Moving Forward

We will be looking at things that make us happy in weeks 6 - 10. However before that, for the next four weeks, we are going to look at the barriers we have in our lives that stop us from being happy.

So buckle up, because the next three weeks are going to be the hardest. Its time to confront the most difficult demon of all: What makes the human mind tick.


Jake, In Summary:

So, where am I in this journey? Honestly, I am not very happy these days. Financial issues mean that in the next six months I am going to have to move away from my friends, family and all the medical professionals I rely on to keep me healthy.

My writing career is struggling and the death of a very important person in my life over New Years still has been reeling. I am juggling a lot of very big complicated things in my life, including trying to get my career back on track, moving and the complications that will arise from that, trying to start a family and deciding who I want to be now I am Jake instead of Talitha.

Sometimes it seems like I can’t possibly move forward and keep all these plates spinning, so right now I feel like I am standing still, too afraid and too tired to move forward.  Its not a very nice place to be.

But there can be no going back, only forward. So take my hand, and lets go.

Managing Chronic Illness: 06 - Dealing with Medical Professionals (without killing them or yourself)

IMPORTANT: You Are The Client. You Are Paying For A Service

If you only read one line of this blog, I hope it is the one directly above this one.

Doctors are well paid. Even in Australia, where you personally don't pay much, they are being well paid. To the tune of hundreds of dollars and hour. They are being paid hundreds of dollars an hour to treat you and manage your health care needs, and if you let them get away with NOT doing those things, they are still getting paid. They are getting paid for doing nothing. For providing a terrible service. And its all tax payer money going to waste.

Put on your goddamn 'can I speak the manager' face. Make it very clear what the roles are. You are not a child, to be lectured. You are not 'lucky' to be seeing them. They are being paid A LOT OF MONEY to treat your medical conditions, and part of that is treating you with respect and dignity.

And if they fail on any of those counts, you are within your right to voice your complaints.

And you can voice those complaints to the Health Ombudsmen. For more info on that, go here:
http://www.abc.net.au/health/consumerguides/stories/2003/02/20/1837237.htm

Shop For A Better Doctor

Furthermore, if you are unhappy with your doctor, find another one. I know finding a new doctor is a pain, I know every time you meet a new doctor it is stressful, disheartening and often embarrassing. Its rare that chronic illness doesn't come with elements we don't really want to talk about. However, staying long term with a doctor who you dislike, who id disrespectful and makes you feel miserable, is going to have a long-term impact on your health. You'll avoid going to see them, even when you need to, and they will probably miss key diagnosis, that could prove fatal. Worst still, there may be a simple, safe treatment option you are never offered, because they didn't do the research.

I have some tips for finding a good doctor though.

1. Try a lot of them. If you decide one of the earlier ones needs another chance, or was the best of a bad bunch, go back to them.

2. Ask for recommendations, either from local chronically ill friends or online in chronic illness groups and forums.

3. Take a printed sheet that outlines everything clearly. This should include your current medications, any allergies, current symptoms and any previous diagnoses, along with a concise, but detailed medical history. Make sure to include any drugs you have tried in the past, and why you stopped taking them.

Ask them to scan it and put it in your medical file.

Its generally a good idea to keep an updated medical file like this at all times. On your computer, at least, or even printed on your person in case you end up in ER. It will be helpful for doctors, and it will also protect you in several ways. First, it will spare you from forgetting anything. And secondly, you have a printed record of what you have shown a doctor, and you have watch them read it. So, in the case of negligence, you can hold it up in court and say: "This is the print out they were given. It was scanned and is in their computer system."

Its Better To Go Away, Do Research, Then Come Back

If a doctor suggests a treatment plan, a new medication or any other long-term changes and it is not something you are already well educated on, its worth going away, researching it and coming back with questions when you are better educated on the topic. This is particularly relevant for medications that have dangers side effects, and any exercise or weight loss plans.

Doctors generally don't want to answer a lot of questions about these things, because they often haven't done the research themselves. This should be a huge red flag for you. Doctors should know what they are prescribing, and they should have read the research on success and failure rates before they suggest a course of action.

Know What Questions To Ask

Words are hard. I'm an author, my life is all about how hard words are. However, you'd be surprised what you find on google, if you know what to key words to search for. Try searches like:

'Things to ask your doctor about weight loss.' (About 33,300,000 results)

'Things to ask your doctor about diabetes.' (About 2,770,000 results)

'Things to ask your doctor about new prescriptions.' (About 3,980,000 results)

Make a list. Print that fucker out and leave space to write down their answers. Let them see you writing down their answers. Trust me, they really start paying attention and doing what they're supposed to when they see you taking notes.

Taking notes is also fantastic for when you have brain fog later and have no recollection whatsoever of what was said.

Have An Idea What You Want Before You Go In

You know those jokes about men being clueless to what women want? The sexist ones that infantilise men and allow them to get away with bad behaviour? Yeah, I hate those. But apply them to your doctor.

When to visit a doctor, state the problem you are having very clearly, but then also state the OUTCOME you want very clearly.

EG: Problem: "I have a terrible pain in my upper right abdomen."

Outcome: "I want this problem investigated until we have a definitive cause, however many tests that takes."

OR: "I believe it is X, but it is stopping me from achieving X. I want a pain management plan that addresses it, allowing me to do X."

Giving them a very specific goal to work toward is best for you and them. It tells them what you expect and that you aren't going to stop hounding them until the goal is achieved. It gives them a starting and an ending place for the issue.

If possible, gently encourage them to repeat the desired outcome, out loud. Say something like: "Just so we're on the same page, what is the desired outcome here?" If they can't repeat what you literally just said, rinse and repeat.

Don't Be Afraid To Remind Your Doctor To Do Their Damn Job

Once I described a problem I was having to my doctor.

Doctor: "Mm, yes, that does sound frustrating. I don't know what would cause that."

Me: "However its your job to find out what is causing it, so how are we going to go about that?"

He looked surprised. He ordered tests. You don't have to be rude or confrontational, in fact, I would say that would hinder you, but you do have to be firm and confident. This is their job. Their job is to make diagnoses and prescribe treatments that will fix or alleviate the health problem you are having. They are being paid a lot of money to do this.

If you hired a cleaner and they came to your house, played your CDs for a bit, and then left, you wouldn't pay them. So why are doctors getting paid for NOT DOING THEIR DAMN JOB?

Mostly, its because we feel inferior to our doctors and superior to our cleaners. And we are wrong to feel that way on both counts. In both cases, we are a client, hiring a professional to provide us with a service. We should treat them with equal respect and have equal expectations that they do the job they are being paid to do.

Doctors are not holy beings. They are not better than you. They are a professional, providing you with a service. And you have every right to receive the service you are paying for.

So that's it. My guide for dealing with medical professionals without killing them or yourself. I hope you got some tips from my many, MANY years dealing with hundreds of doctors. I have had some truly bad ones. From doctors who have been verbally abusive and negligent, to doctors who meant well, but almost killed me anyway.

Thankfully these days, using the tools and methods I have discussed, I have a great GP and a truly brilliant physician assisting me with my medical care. They're not saviours, I won't be throwing them a parade any time soon. They are professionals who do the job they are paid to do. I find them enjoyable to speak to, pleasant to be around and helpful when it comes to my frankly very difficult medical situation. I wouldn't ask for better.

I hope you can find the same.

Managing Chronic Illness: 04 - Medication And Exercise.

Oh, the catch 22 of exercise. Being fitter will make you healthier, but exercise itself makes you sicker. Is there any greater bane to the chronically ill? Possibly people saying: 'You would be healthier if you exercised more'.

How To Exercise When Chronically Ill:

First, you know better than anyone else what you are capable of. And if anything, most chronically ill people are prone to push themselves TOO hard and make it much worse for themselves. So be realistic about your goals and be realistic about how much you can do.

First, define why you want to exercise. For me, it is about promoting blood flow and keeping myself as physically able as possible. I don't want to get weak joins and I don't want my stamina to drop so low that I can't do things on the days I am well enough to go out. I'd also like to lose weight, but more about that later.

Secondly, once you have decided WHY you are exercising, you must choose exercises that are suitable for you, and suitable for your goals. It might be slow, low impact exercise like slow walking is best for you. Or maybe short bursts of high intensity. You know what is best for me? Swimming. Medium intensity, but most importantly, I can't overheat. Which is my biggest problem with exercise. You know what I don't have easy access to? A pool or the beach. I drive to the beach when I can, but that is much, much less often than I would like.

Thirdly, think outside the box. Can you lift cans of food while watching TV? That's exercise. Can you do leg lifts? Squats? If some parts of your body don't work, how can you isolate and exercise the other parts? What can you do in your living room with a small amount of space. Can you do a dance routine? I promise youtube has hundreds more exercise tutorials on it than you could ever complete if you dedicated your life to trying. You don't need fancy equipment or a trainer and you don't need to exercise the parts of you that don't work well.

Fourthly, did you do ten squats and give up? That's okay. Do ten squats tomorrow. Maybe build up to 11. Then 12. Move slowly. A tiny bit of exercise is still doing you good. Don't beat yourself up because you can't do what a 'healthy' person can. I hate to break this to you, but you aren't healthy.

When Your Doctor Wants You To Lose Weight:

I am going to talk about weight in this blog post, but there will be no fat shaming. And I hope most of you know me well enough that you thought this was a given.

The biggest problem with being overweight and chronically ill, is that doctors, nurses and random people with no right to an opinion will blame many of your symptoms on your weight. It is, of course, more likely that the reverse is true. Being chronically ill makes it almost impossible to eat as well as you want or exercise as much as you want. And in some cases, your illness may be the direct cause of your weight, particularly if you have POS or any kind of inflammation or sleep disorder, along with a lot of mental illnesses.

There are, however, some benefits to weight loss I want to talk about. Two of these, I don't WANT to be true, but however horrible, they are true and until society changes, we are going to have to live with them:

1. It's easier on your joints.

Carrying around a lot of excess weight, regardless of if the weight is part of you, or not (boxes, books etc) is hard on your joints. As is repetitive use of said joints. I know a lot of writers with bad hands and wrists, I know a lot of removalists or warehouse workers with shot backs and I know a good number of overweight people with shot knees. And, of course, if you have bad knees, it's going to be harder to move around and you will gain more weight, and the terrible cycle continues.

2. It's easier to exercise.

There are some amazing overweight athletes and all of my healthy overweight friends can run rings around me. However, it’s a lot easier to exercise when you are carrying less weight. At my heaviest I was over 90kgs and dragging myself up a hill was a nightmare. It still is, but with a 20kg back pack on, I probably wouldn't make it now.

3. It's easier to make doctors take you seriously.

Being fat could kill you. Not because of the fat, but because some asshole doctor is doing to blame your fatal condition on your weight. It happens ALL THE TIME. As in, daily. I have no stats on how many people die per day from treatable conditions that were misdiagnosed because they were overweight, but I do have enough stories just from friends to terrify me. Find a good doctor who isn't a fat-phob, warn people away from the fat-phob doctors you do meet. But also accept that in an ER, your great GP isn't going to save you.

4. I will relieve some psychological pressure.

It doesn't matter how much to love your curves, every time someone makes a negative comment, you probably die a little inside. I wish I could be there to punch every single negative person in the face before they speak, but I can't. And you're still going to be bombarded with skinny models and actors and advertising telling you to be ashamed and that you are only beautiful if you are thin. I know in this context losing weight is essentially 'giving up', conforming to make the bullying stop. And yes, that's exactly what it is. We live in a dystopian hell and sometimes you have to do whatever it takes to survive here. 

Medication Sucks

No one enjoys taking medication. Even addicts don't enjoy it, addicted or not, it something we do to cope. To hopefully make things a tiny bit better—either by keeping us alive or removing some symptom we suffer through.

It can be difficult to balance our medications, they can be dangerous, disruptive, and come with a lot of complicated feelings. Its hard to take pills of any kind without feeling there is something 'wrong' with you, even when logic argues that we need it.

Its up to you to use common sense when it comes to your medication. Logic should trump emotion. Take your pills when you should, and acknowledge your negative feelings about them. Journal about them, if it helps. Here are some other tips:

Question. Your. Medication.

At least once a year, I like to re-assess and re-trial all my medication. Depending on what medication you take, this may be dangerous, impossible or relatively easy. You can book a meeting with a pharmacist in Australia, who will meet with you and go over all your medications looking for potential clashes and interactions. They can also talk to you about side-effects you might be treating as symptoms. Symptoms evolve and change and if you have been taking a lot of medications for a long time, symtoms that are getting worse may be from the medication. EG: I took Panadol almost daily for 20 years. Recently when my headaches just would not ease, I spent a week with NO painkillers, not even Panadol. It was hell. Not going to lie. However, one of the new aspects of the migraines eased up, only to flare again when I tried the Panadol again. I can no longer tolerate Panadol and I have had to adjust my medication schedule accordingly. It used to be I couldn't take nurofen without throwing up, now I handle it just fine.

Likewise, an old migraine medication I took for ten years suddenly started giving me seizures. You change, your symptoms change and your reactions to medications change. Anything you are on long term needs to be re-assessed regularly to weed out illnesses-disguised-as-cures.

Research New And Alternative Medications.

I don't mean alternative therapies. Don't switch your Naltrexone for crystals.

Don't disregard vitamins and herbals just because they are 'simple'. Let's be honest, after years of chronic exhaustion, we would feel stupid if our condition was treatable by something as simple as a vitamin. Iron, or vitamin D, or Vitamin B. However, this is literally a best case scenario. Feeling better from taking a pill with no side effects, no prescription, no long term harm.

I'll tell you something else, a lot of 'hardcore' drugs are just complicated versions of simple things. Medications are just compounds of other things. Most of us know penicillin is derived from mould. All drugs are derived from something and sometimes the only reason a herbal supplement is not an expensive prescription drug is because pharmaceutical companies have not isolated the right compound yet.

Valerian root and turmeric are two fantastic examples. Valerian, when concentrated, is a better sleeping agent than any commercially available sleeping pills. But it also dangerous. So the valerian you get from blackmores is very mild. Because pharmaceutical companies don’t know WHY valerian makes people sleep, they can't turn it into a sleeping pill yet. But they are trying. Meanwhile, Valerian is not taken very seriously by anyone as a sleeping aid, even though we KNOW it is more effective.

Turmeric is the same. With pepper, it is proving very effective at treating certain conditions, just as Indian medicine has been saying for centuries. However, the active compound isn't known, so pharmaceutical companies have been releasing rather misleading studies claiming turmeric has no effect. Really, the specific compound in turmeric they tested had no effect. But in spreading these results, they drive people away from using turmeric and back to their other prescription products.

Remember Health Is The Goal.

Your goal is always to be healthier in the long and short term. We need to stay fit, flexible and strong enough that life doesn't become more difficult for us. But we also don't want to make ourselves sicker trying to overdo it.

Likewise, we want our pills to improve our situation, not make it worse, and that means a lot of trial, error, research and inconvenience, which can often leave us struggling in the short term, but is hopefully beneficial in the long term.

I'm not a big fan of doctors, but I hope you have one you can trust to speak to before you embark on any medication tests or exercise routines. Who knows, they might even have some good ideas.

Next week: Socialization, time management and goal setting!

Managing Chronic Illness: 03 – Sleep and Lifestyle Aids

 Sorry this post is a day late. My neighbour sprayed termite spray all around their house and I am highly allergic. The past four days have been… fun. And by fun, I mean an insane, waking nightmare of hives, burning mouth and throat, migraines and vomiting. Good times!

They're outside smoking as I type this, which I am also allergic to. At what point does this cross over from annoyance to attempted murder? Anyway, on with the post.

The Importance Of Sleep

Quality sleep is important to good mental and physical health, and weight loss. Poor sleepers have a higher risk of heart disease and stroke, they eat more calories, they have reduced insulin sensitivity, putting you at higher risk for type 2 diabetes, they have poor concentration and lower performance, are more likely to suffer depression, have weaker immune systems, suffer increased inflammation and lowers your ability to empathise. Which is terrible news if you are an insomniac like me.

However, reading that list, it becomes very clear why it is VITAL we do everything in our power to get eight hours of quality sleep every single night.

There are several ways to do this and talking to your doctor about prescription and over the counter sleeping aids might be one of them. You should also try and exercise in the morning, get 15 minutes of sun a day, avoid caffeine up to six hours before you plan to go to bed and avoid screens of all kinds for at least an hour before bed.

Make sure you go to bed as pain free as possible, wear comfortable clothes and keep the room at a comfortable temperature.

Mattress Quality

Quality beds are very expensive. I know. However, when calculating the price, remember you will be spending a third of your life using it, and a good quality mattress should last ten years. So always divide the cost by ten, to see how much you are paying a year for high quality sleep. Its probably not as much as you think, when you consider how important sleep really is.

It might be a good idea to start a mattress saving fund and put aside your tax refund, along with a set amount each week. If you've just brought a new mattress, and a good mattress is $10, 000. You need to save $1000 a year for the next ten years so you are ready to buy the next one. $1000 a year is only $83.50 a month and if you put it in a high interest savings account, you'll come out with a little more at the end.

Another tip is to wait for big sales at mattress stores and buy then. You can get as much as 50% off at End of Financial Year Sales. If you keep your receipt, or scan it, as they tend to fade, and show that when you try and sell your mattress, you might even be able to get $1000 back. Which can go into your new mattress fund.

Pillows, Sheets and Hygiene

You (hopefully) spend 8 hours out of every 24 in your bed, on your pillow and sheets. During those eight hours you drool, sweat, cough, fart, shed dead skin cells and wipe snot and eye-goo on everything.

When you think about that, suddenly changing your sheets and pillow case every day feels like a good idea. However, that's not always practical. You SHOULD, however, change your sheets and pillowcase every week.

Did you know, within 12 months, the average volume of a pillow becomes 1/3 dead skin cells? Yep. So, make sure you get a new pillow every 12 months too. Or every six months, if you are prone to sinus infections or lung problems.

Also, remember if you are sick with anything contagious, your bed has become a hotzone. When you recover, everything has to go in the wash, or you could just keep reinfecting yourself.

Lifestyle Aids

Lifestyle aids are any equipment that makes your life easier, pain free and more manageable. Walking frames, wheelchairs, heat packs, ramps, handrails, specialised cooking equipment, glasses, stools, braces and splints, even things like soft socks, specialised bras or underwear, shoes and a hundred other possible things.

Sometimes we, as chronically ill people, refrain from using these tools because we feel we aren't sick enough to deserve them. This is crazy talk. There is no need to 'qualify' for an aid. They are designed to make life easier, so if they make your life easier, you are qualified for one.

Sometimes, people will tell us we aren't qualified. These people are assholes and you don't owe them anything. Practise the words: "I have difficulty with X. This aid makes X a bit easier for me."

Anyone who doesn't apologise and gives you a hard time after that is not deserving of your time, energy or love. Ignore them and move on with your life—hopefully with a bunch of new aids that make things easier for you.

Lifestyle Aids Exercise

This is an exercise to help you determine if you have the best lifestyle aids on offer, if you need more, and what those aids should be.

First, I want you to write a list of all the things you struggle with in day to day life. It helps to think about every room in your house and look at your day planner, in order to ferret out any difficult things you take for granted.

Some examples might be:

- Toileting

- Showering

- Cooking

- Driving

- Getting out of bed

- Shopping

- Walking the dog

- Typing

- Watching TV

- Reading

- Doing Taxes

 Etc

When you have a long, comprehensive list of things that are challenging, it is time to subhead them with why. EG:

- Toileting

                - Getting up and down

                - Constipation

- Showering

                - Getting fatigued

                - Slipping

Reading

                - Trouble focusing/blurry vision

Watching TV

                - Can't hear well

When you have a comprehensive idea of what difficulties you are having with each activity, it is time to start looking for solutions. And I promise there are a lot more solutions out there than you think! If you have a problem, someone has solved it. Most of those really silly seeming ideas on infomercials are designed for disabled people. For example, those egg crackers? Designed for people with one arm. No spill bowls? Designed for people with tremors. And so on.

If you have trouble getting up and down from the toilet, it is worth installing a handrail. If you are having issues with constipation, it may be that a Squatty Potty will solve all your problems. If you get fatigued in the shower, often a plastic chair will help. If you slip over in the bath or shower, simply invest in a cheap anti slip mat. I stopped reading for years until I got a kindle and realised I could make the text as big as I needed. And most digital TVs these days had subtitle options that can be turned on and off with your remote. You may already have the aids you need and not know it!

Asking in groups (facebook groups are plentiful and accessible) for people with similar conditions to you can expose you to a whole wealth of products you didn't previously know about. There are even fonts that make it easier for dyslexic people to read.

When you have at least one solution to all your problems, list them in priority. You might have to list them in order of practicality while you are at it. Newer, more expensive cars have navigation and driving options that would make life MUCH easier for me, but I simply can't afford a new car. Let alone a new fancy car. As much as I would like one, I have to accept I just can’t have one at this time. However, I do have a lot of aids currently on my wish list and I put aside a little money every fortnight, buying them when I have saved up enough.

Summary

So, there you have it. Sleep well and use whatever tools and aids make life easier for you. These really apply if you are chronically ill or not. If you have any really cool lifestyle aids you want to share, link them in the comments below and they can be a resource for everyone.

Next week everyone's favourite topics: Medication and Exercise.