Showing posts with label show don't tell. Show all posts
Showing posts with label show don't tell. Show all posts

Thursday, July 20, 2017

Setting and Place

Setting and Place

For me, one of the worst things in writing is talking heads syndrome. Its where a writer hasn’t described where the characters are, or what is happening around them, so the reader has a sense of heads just talking at one and other in a void.

It’s important to anchor your readers in the setting, so they can develop a clearer picture of your story in their mind. However, setting isn’t just a backdrop for your characters to talk and move in. Setting tells a story. Setting can be a fantastic way to feed people information without dialogue or exposition. Setting sets the tone, adds to the wonder or tension and brings the story alive.


Settings Create Atmosphere

The setting helps greatly with the atmosphere of the scene. It can change the make readers feel safe or tense, prepare them for what is coming or give them vital information about the location and characters in it.

Every time you don’t use setting description to its potential, you are wasting an opportunity to immerse your reader. That’s not to say every scene needs a long description of the setting. However, take these three examples, all describing the same room:

Perfunctory:
There were candles burning in the den. There were two couches, a bookshelf and large TV.

This tells us what furniture is in the room. There is no atmosphere or emotion. Its rather boring, and contributes nothing but giving us very basic information.

Safe and exciting:
The den was lit with cheery, jumping candlelight. Two overstuffed leather couches would be perfect for reading in on cold winter days. The bookshelf was overflowing with titles, new and old, and the TV was so big, it took up half the wall, almost as good as a movie theatre.

In this version, most people reading will feel happy or inspired. They will want to be in the room, because most readers love a good reading space. Most people love a big TV too. The rooms sounds luxurious and like something we all inspire to have one day.

Tense:
The den was cold and sallow in the flickering candlelight. Two overstuffed couches stood hulking on opposite sides of the room, like sagging, bloated monsters about to fight. The dusty bookshelf, spilled over with books, both forgotten and abandoned. The TV was the worst of all, a vast yawning blackness that took up almost the entire wall.

Same furniture, same room, very different feel. Instead of being happy and inspired, we feel tense. We don’t want to go near the TV or the couches. We certainly don’t want to curl up and read in there. The language here is telling us this is a bad place and something is probably going to go down.


When your characters enter a new location, ask yourself what the primary emotion of the scene is. Let your description of the scene lend to that. How you describe a setting should tell readers how they are going to feel and what they can expect. Priming the audience this way makes the final emotional impact of the scene much deeper.


Revealing Character 

When we go into a character’s personal space, their bedroom, their office, their car, we get to learn a lot about them, based on what we find there.

Take the following room description:

The child-sized chest of drawers was blue, and decorated with stickers of superheroes and trucks. Tiny army men and plastic dinosaurs were locked in a deadly dioramic battle on top, though many had spilled onto the floor, amid race-car tracks, soccer balls and dirty clothes that had missed the hamper. Lego and muddy sneakers peeped out from under the bed, along with one lone Barbie-doll, her hair shorn, her face half melted by a firecracker.

This could be the bedroom of a very average little boy—probably one with a sister who is going to scream the house down when she sees her doll.

What if we found out this was a little girl’s room? What would you know about her from her room? At the very least, she is a Tomboy. She likes boy’s things and if the Barbie doll is any indication, has a distain for girl’s things. Maybe she has brothers. Maybe she is trans and will later transition.

What if it was a forty-year-old man’s room instead? Is he mentally handicapped? What if everything was dusty and the door had been closed for a long time, the rest of the house inhabited only by a middle-aged couple who rarely talked or smiled?

What story are you telling when you describe your setting?


Giving Places A Sense Of Past And Future

A great tip for making your world seem more permanent, is to include details that give a setting a past and a future, a sense that they existed before the scene took place and will continue to exist after it is done.

For example, a flyer on a bulletin board that says: “Yoga Classes Start Next Tuesday” implies that there will be a Tuesday in the future. Chips in the surface of a table imply that it was used in the past, thus it must have a past.

There are thousands of ways to imply both past and future in scenes. Flowers not yet blooming, rust, wear and tear, mentioning what the setting is like in different seasons, or what it will be like when something transpires in the future. Juxtaposition between old and new, faded things, gaps were things are expected to be.

And little snippets of detail like this imply further detail. If a reader ‘sees’ one small detail, like dead flies on the windowsill, their brain will tell them there would be more details if they looked, which gives the world a sense of being fleshed out and real.


I hope this post has helped you see descriptions and settings in a new light. Remember, if you would like notifications when I update this blog, it’s a great idea to follow me on Facebook or Twitter.

Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Author Voice VS Character Voice


Sometimes people write such awful, villainous characters and people ask: ‘Is the author secretly a horrible monster to be able to come up with this stuff?’ George RR Martin and Karin Slaughter come to mind on my own bookshelf.

Other times, authors try and tackle delicate, depressing, violent or otherwise disgusting topics and just end up coming across like they are in favour of it. Instead of readers being awed by the villain, they’re just disgusted with the author.

So today, I want to talk about the character’s voice, VS the author’s voice. In the hope that you can avoid this particularly treacherous pitfall.

There is, hopefully, a difference between the beliefs and ideals of your characters and yourself, as the author. If all your characters believe what you believe—including your villains—you would struggle to have any conflict and it would, overall, be a very boring story.

However, if you are trying to write a racist character, how do you do it well without coming across, as, well, racist?

I just read this line in a story:

‘They had two of the most gorgeous children you will ever meet; a blonde haired, blue eyed dream of a girl and her strikingly handsome ten-year-old brother.’

Its narrative, not dialogue. So, its information from the author to the reader. Has the author ever met ten year olds? Do they really think ‘strikingly handsome’ is applicable to a ten-year-old? I’m not sure about you, but it makes me deeply uncomfortable, as I suspect I have just read a story written by a paedophile.

Creepiness factor aside, this issue has come up before in my writing group, where material comes across as racist, sexist or otherwise offensive and the author becomes incensed, saying ‘It’s not me, it’s the character!’

However, there is a huge difference between information we are given by the author and the character’s point of view, thoughts and feelings. If you want to make a character racist, sexist or controversial in some way, you want to make damn sure you know the difference.

Let’s take the above example. How would I take the same information and make it not weirdly sexualising of a child? Easily. Take out the sexualising words.

EG: ‘They had two of the most adorable children you will ever meet; a blonde haired, blue eyed angel of a girl and her cutely freckled ten-year-old brother.’

Okay, that’s much more comfortable. But what if we wanted the reader to be uncomfortable? What if the POV character is a paedophile and we want to show that without sounding like a paedophile ourselves? We looked for a deeper POV.

EG:He gripped the chain link fence, watching the children swing higher and higher in the playground. She was the most beautiful little girl he’d ever seen, with her lithe, pale legs and short pink skirt. As the swing, peaked he’d catch a glimpse of blue panties.’

I feel dirty writing that, but you get the idea. However, if I strip out the POV elements, it’s even worse:

EG:She was the most beautiful little girl, with lithe, pale legs and a short pink skirt. As she swung on the swing, you could catch a glimpse of her blue panties.’

Hopefully, you see the difference. Generally speaking, deeper character POV is better anyway, as it fosters a deeper connection between the reader and the character. If you are writing a villain like this, the deeper POV will make the reader much more uncomfortable, which is the goal.

Let’s look at another example:

EG: ‘Unable to fight, the women were all in the basement, where they would be safe.’

This is sexist, because it is implying the women are in the basement because they are unable to fight. What you need to do, is show the women are in the basement because whoever is in charge believes they are unable to fight.

EG: ‘Amid protests, Captain Greggory sent the women and children to the basement, claiming they would be safe there.’

Everyone is going to make a mistake like this eventually. Even my sweetest, most tolerant friends, and my fiercest social justice friends, have tripped up and misworded something in an unflattering way. If someone says, ‘this is racist/sexist/offensive’, don’t argue and explain why it’s supposed to be. Check the attribution, assign it properly.

Remember, give someone ownership of your offensive beliefs, if you don’t, to the reader, they’re YOURS.