I am interrupting the happiness blog series to bring you all some very happy news! I am four months pregnant. I started IUI (like IVF, but less invasive) in May and my first attempt was successful. So, I bet you have some questions! I have some answers:
When are you due?
Mid February, 2019. Possible valentine baby.
Is it a boy or a girl?
Still not sure! I am having a scan in about a week that will hopefully shed light on the issue.
Do you have names picked out?
I have a short list. They're all pretty traditional.
Who is the father?
Me! Obviously. My children will know me as Dad.
Who is the other parent?
The donor parent was part of an anonymous donor register from the USA. I selected him based on his profile and essays on the donor company's website. When the children are 18, they will have the option of contacting him, if they wish. I have never met, or spoken to, the donor.
So, you'll be a single dad?
Yep. My mother did a fantastic job as a single mother, so I am not worried. In fact, I have a lot of friends who are outstanding human beings who were raised by single parents. And I know some outrageous scumbags who had two parents, so let's not have this debate, okay?
Why did you decide to have kids?
I have always wanted children. I decided to have them now for two reasons. 1. I am 33 and looking young on the outside doesn't make me young on the inside and 2. I want to start HRT and it causes a lot of fertility issues. Not to mention, it would be impossible to breast feed after I have top surgery.
It was now or never. And never wasn't an option.
Will you be chest feeding?
Yes. But as soon as that is done, I will be starting HRT and having top surgery. The sooner I can get these flapping milk factories off me, the better.
Will you be vaccinating?
Of course. My children will receive all their vaccines on the recommended schedule, just like I did.
Will you be raising your children gender neutral?
I will in the sense that when they are babies, I will not put them in gendered clothes. This is because I don't want strangers knowing what my children's genitals look like. People start treating boys and girls very differently from the moment they are born, and I will do my best to avoid that sort of mental pollution.
I will also be keeping the house free of any toys I feel push gender stereotypes, and they will not be allowed to watch harmful gendering on TV or movies. That means most Disney movies are out.
If you are confused, I will give you an example:
Plastic cooking set in primary colours? Fantastic.
Plastic cooking set in bring pinks and pastel purple? Bad.
What if they like classically gendered toys?
I could talk fluently by 18 months old. I am sure my children will /loudly/ voice their opinions on the matter. Let's assume they don't need you fighting that battle for them.
Will you be raising your child with gender neutral pronouns?
No. Even though I know /a lot/ of trans people, generally speaking, trans people aren't all that common. It is very likely my children will grow up wanting to be the gender they are, however as they will have a trans dad, they will know being trans is something I will support, if they feel that way.
Will you be cloth diapering?
Yes. I have dozens of them already. I went a bit hard on aliexpress. They're so cute though!
Will you be rehoming your cats/dogs/snake/birds?
No. I will house the snake in a locked room though, because she is big enough to strangle a grown man and if the worst happened and she got out, she might smother a baby trying to get warm.
Are you dating anyone?
Are you hitting on me? If you are, you better offer to massage my goddamn feet or stop wasting my time.
Can I send you a gift?
Thank you! Yes, you can. PM me for my postal address. Baby and children's books are a huge plus. I have a lot of cloth diapers and soft toys already, so maybe avoid those, but you can never have too many books. Please don't buy any gendered clothing (any clothing you can guess the baby's gender at a glance), or clothing with weird slogans like 'all the chicks love me' or 'daddy's little girl'.
Thank You All So Much For Your Support!
For all the support I have received and for all the support that is yet to come. I have the most amazing friends (and sometimes family) and I am so grateful for all of you each and every day.