When You Feel Like Giving Up
Most of
the people I associate with are interested in writing in some capacity.
Authors, editors, hobbyists and those who wish they were all of the above. If
you read this blog, its likely you write, or at least, wish you did. Which is
fantastic, of course. People who love writing are the exact people I want to
spend more time with. I love my tribe.
A few
times a month though, on my twitter or facebook feed, I see someone who is
close to giving up. Or, more likely, they want to write, but haven't been able
to for a long time, have been beaten down by rejections, or have lost the
passion for the project they are working on.
They ask
their community for advice, or even if they should just give up completely.
This is almost always met with an outpouring of support and encouragement.
Often with a few tips or suggestions, and a few people reminding, whoever it
is, to be kind to themselves and that they have been going through a lot
lately.
The
problems, advice and responses are always pretty much the same, which will
either be reassuring, or disheartening, if you have recently been in that
situation.
Honesty Is The Best Policy
If you
want support and reassurance, posts like those I have mentioned are a good
idea. There is no shame in giving your friends and family a chance to give you
the love and support they feel, but rarely get to show.
If an ego
boost is what you need, that is perfectly okay.
However,
if you are really, honestly umming and ahhing about if you want to dedicate
your time and energy to writing anymore, I have an exercise that may help you
make that decision.
No one
else can make the choice for you, either. No matter how well someone knows you
and your life, they can't make the right call for you. Only you can make that
call. However, I hope this exercise will make it very clear to you what the
right call is.
The 'Should I Write' Exercise:
1. First,
get a notepad and pen,or open a new word document. At the top of the page
write:
"Why I Want To Write".
2. Under
that, write a list of reasons why you want to write. Keep writing until you can't
think of any more. Aim for between 20-30. Be honest, put things you would never
admit out loud on there. Things like impressing people (maybe a specific
person), making money, proving someone wrong, etc.
3. When
you have your list of 20-30 very private reasons why you want to write, go
through that list and try and come up with other ways you could achieve those
things. EG: If you reason is 'Getting Rich' you could list things like 'Get a
better job' or 'Ask for a raise'.
4. When
you have gone through the entire list and come up with other ways to achieve
the same results or feelings, look through the list again. Is there anything
you want from writing you can't get anywhere but writing? Is there any real
reason to keep writing?
Some of
the reasons you might not be able to satisfy any other way include things like:
- I get a
special joy from writing I can't get elsewhere.
- I want
to share a specific story with the world.
- I need
a way to get these ideas out of my head so they leave me alone.
- I
needed stories like this growing up and they didn't exist.
Now you
will either have a list of compelling reasons that you MUST write, or you will
have a list of things you can do with your life that will make you equally
happy.
I can't
tell you what conclusion you will come to, but I can tell you by the end you
will have a good idea if you want to keep writing, and why. Or why not. Maybe
you have realized all the things you want from writing you can get elsewhere
and there is no need for it in your life. Or maybe you will have realized why
you need to write and feel invigorated again.
Either
way, good luck moving forward, for all the right reasons.
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