Let’s talk about networking. If
you just groaned or felt queasy, this post is for you.
If you hate the idea of
networking, then you’re probably wrong about what networking actually means.
Maybe you think networking is about being insincere or using people. Maybe you
have a mental image of walking into a room of strangers and pushing yourself
and your product.
Don’t do that.
No one likes those people, that’s
awful.
What is Networking?
Networking is actually quite
simple and not intimidating at all. Basically, networking is introducing
yourself to people, then being nice to them. Not in a fake way, in a genuine
way. Say hello to people, then be nice. If either of those things strike you as
overly difficult, you might need to sit down and have a think about why that
is.
You’re not aiming to use people,
or sell your product. You’re just getting to know people in your industry and
giving them a chance to get to know you. It’s different from a friendship, in
that you don’t talk about personal issues or come to these people for support
when you get dumped. However, you should still be friendly.
What is the goal of networking?
The goal is mutual benefit. Mutual
being the key word. Simply having a familiarity with the industry and people in
it is usually beneficial in itself. If someone says to me “Do you know Kirstie
Olley, she’s the president of vision writers?” I will say: “Yes, I am vice
president, Kirstie and I go way back.” Instantly, that shared familiar contact
will make the other person feel safer and happier talking to me.
Like it or not, publishing is an
industry of people who want to work with people they like. Personally, I don’t
think it’s a bad thing. But it does mean the more people like you, the more
likely they will want to work with you, or recommend you to other people.
I got my first publishing
contract with Harlequin hardly knowing anyone and none of my contacts helped me
at all. However, everything since then—publishing
contracts, speaking gigs, contract work of other kinds, has all come in through
acquaintances and networking.
You don’t need to be friends with
everyone, but it really, really helps.
Remember this is a two-way
street. It’s up to you to speak highly of your acquaintances, and perhaps share
their books, let them guest post when they are doing book tours and share
opportunities you hear about and so on.
How do we network successfully?
If you’re shy about approaching
people, remember you don’t have to approach everyone. Start small. Approach
someone else who looks lonely and intimidated and say: “Hello, my name is Talitha.”
And offer your hand. Depending on where you are and what the event is, you
might say: ‘Are you here as a reader or a writer?’ or ‘How do you know the
host?’. If appropriate, you can just start with a casual compliment: ‘I love
those earrings’ or ‘I love your shirt, Wonder Woman is my favourite superhero’.
Only use a compliment if you know
how to give one. For example, don’t say: “You’re really pretty.” Or “Wow,
you’re the hottest boy/girl/banana here.” That’s not a compliment, that’s
hitting on someone and its 99% likely to be annoying and rude.
Assuming you open the conversation
with a sane, pleasant introduction, there should be a reasonable and polite
conversation that is relevant to the event and the things around you.
However, networking is not about
being overly agreeable. One of the key elements of networking is being
memorable. That means being polite, but having standards and opinions. Don’t
just agree with everyone for the sake of getting along, but don’t argue with
someone either.
For example, if you are talking
to someone and they say something racist, don’t get into a fight about it. Say
something like: “I disagree, pardon me.” And just walk away. You want to show
you have integrity and standards, you don’t want to make enemies.
Don’t trash things or people
others love either. If someone is raving about something you find annoying,
like a TV show, simply say: “Oh, I have friends who like it, but I never really
got into it.” This is good, because it says, ‘we can still be friends, even if
we don’t both love Gossip Girl.’
And I shouldn’t have to say this,
but don’t put people down if they are less experienced than you. Someone just
had their first short story published? Celebrate that with them. Buy them a
drink, tell them congratulations. They deserve it.
Who should I network with?
You know who we all want to be
friends with? Our favourite authors. However, these are not the people to
network with. As a general rule, I say network with everyone. You never know
who is going to suddenly rise to the top, so don’t dismiss people who are ‘less
known’ than you. Firstly, it makes you an asshole and secondly, it’s stupid.
Also, I can’t tell you how many
times I’ve started talking to someone who looked lost and daggy at a cocktail
event or morning tea and found out they are some super important guest speaker.
I’ve also make friends with people who are still in uni, only to have them
graduate and become acquisitions editors at major publishing houses. People I
spent a few years giving feedback to have become massively popular authors.
Your peers are the next round of
big names and the big names already have lots of people trying to network with
them. They aren’t going to be grateful if you share their new release, but a first-time
author will be and they’ll remember you when you’re trying to sell your
manuscript.
Most of the people I network with
will never be famous authors or big name editors. But even if I could see the
future, it wouldn’t change who I talked to, because I genuinely enjoy talking
to everyone. I’ve never gone in thinking: ‘I want to make friends with an
acquisition editor’. I go in thinking: ‘I want to meet some new people and make
a good impression, I want to have a good time with these people’.
The enemy of my enemy…
I don’t love everyone. There are
a few people I see regularly at conventions that I politely avoid. I would
never bad-mouth them. Bad-mouthing anyone is pretty much social suicide in such
a small, friendly community like Australian publishing. And while most people
generally like me, I am sure there are a few people who politely avoid me too.
That’s fine, I really don’t mind at all. I’m sorry about whatever I did to
offend them, but I’m not losing sleep.
Approach networking with the aim
of being genuine and having a good time. But remember everyone else should be
having a good time too.
Don’t say: “Well, I am who I am
and if people don’t like it, they can shove off.” You sound like a child.
You’re that kid on the floor in the supermarket screaming because his mother
won’t buy chocolate. This is a public space, show some goddamn restraint.
And if you are one of those
people who feels like they are being deceptive or worries other people are
judging them, you need to let that go. You’re not being deceptive, as long as
you are genuine. Other people are networking for the same reason. You’re not a
phoney or pretending to be something you’re not. We’re all in the same boat and
most of us are bailing out the same water with the same leaking buckets.
Someone might be more experienced
than you, but no one is inherently ‘better’ than you because of it.
Final tip:
Oh, and the best networking tip
of all? Easily accessible business cards.
Get nice cards printed and keep
them in your pocket or the easiest part to get to of your purse. When you are
saying goodbye to someone, say: “It was nice talking to you, do you have a
business card? Do you want mine?”
This will help you remember who
you spoke to and remind you to add them on twitter or facebook later on.
Business cards, never leave home
without them, folks.
I hope this has given you a
clearer idea of what networking is, why we do it and how to go about it. If you
have further questions, please email them to me and I’ll address them in future
blog posts. I look forward to networking with you soon!
